Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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