Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Randomize
