I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
