the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
