I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
