So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
