He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
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