I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
