Who wears a wallet chain?!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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