it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
