The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
