is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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