Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
