They should really pass out barf bags in church
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
worst night to have a conscience
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
