so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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