I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
