i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
did i walk over a car last night?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
