everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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