It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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