but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We had sex on a dog bed..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
