i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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