just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
