Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
