Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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