She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
