wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
