he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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