how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
false alarm, still single
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
