I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
