He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
