I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
