The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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