I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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