dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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