what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
