Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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