Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
