There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
