There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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