I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
