You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
