Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He felt like a one man threesome
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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