1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
