I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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