It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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