I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
