I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
