thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
