please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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