so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
