So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
