Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
